So many boudoir shoots are about reclaiming your power. The inner beauty and mojo that you KNOW is there but have somehow lost. Sometimes it is a monumental life event, like walking away from a terrible marriage. Sometimes it is losing yourself in motherhood. Sometimes you wake up one day and wonder who you are and where your old self went. These are my favorite types of shoots. Reconnecting with yourself, loving yourself, celebrating yourself. We all need it. Here is what miss C said about her shoot:
“Melissa! Thank you!!! You showed me a version of me that I never knew was actually there, and you showed me the beauty of standing in my own power.”
Her images are so stunning and I can’t wait to deliver her album just in time for the holidays! A gift, indeed.
At least once every couple of years, I schedule a boudoir shoot for myself to stay in touch with how my clients feel. It is easy to get complacent behind the camera and to tell everyone how easy it is to “just do it.”
As someone who is either in jeans and a tee shirt or gym clothes 99% of the time, I always love the preparation leading up to a boudoir shoot. Trying on glamorous lingerie, getting pampered with a mani/pedi, the anticipation of a bikini wax (especially if you’ve never had one), and the gloriousness of having your hair and makeup done for you – Natalie and Amy are absolute wizards.
Then comes the vulnerability of asking someone to see the beauty in you. It takes real courage to put yourself out there and submit yourself to the process. I appreciate this every single time I am the one being photographed, and I don’t take this responsibility lightly.
Then the butterflies start when it’s time to be photographed. They slowly dissipate and all of a sudden you are feeling insanely sexy and confident, like you could do anything. This time was no different.
Of course, everyone wants to know-who photographs a boudoir photographer? I have had the pleasure of being photographed the last few times by my boyfriend, David. Isn’t he handsome?
He used to teach photography, so he has some serious chops and knows his way around the camera. It was so much fun to approach this as a couple – looking at poses, deciding what I was going to wear, the shoot itself, and of course, sitting down to look at the pictures together after the shoot. I learn something every single time we do this-the benefit of being in the position fo the client, the benefit of another artist’s perspective, the benefit of the male perspective, and the reminder of how sore you are the day after a boudoir shoot. Arching your back for a couple hours is hard work!! This time, I also learned how much I love the burlesque look. I don’t think I’ve ever felt sexier.
Almost a week later, and I am still feeling the post shoot high, and am already looking forward to our next collaboration. Here are some of my faves from the shoot (I smile every time I look at them):
About seven years ago, I was doing mini sessions for clients at a fancy hotel all day, and since I had the hotel room anyway, I decided to set up a date night with my then husband. I packed all my own sexy lingerie with the idea that he would come up to pick me up for dinner and he could play photographer. He knew absolutely nothing about photography but I kept my lights set up and had the camera all set up so all he’d have to do was point and shoot. I figured it would be a fun way to kick off our date night, and would be SUPER hot. I thought about it all day. He got up to the room, I excitedly showed him my outfits and explained my idea and he said “I’m tired. Lets go eat.” I was absolutely crushed. I was already feeling vulnerable about my post baby body and was trying desperately to feel sexy and desirable. I had put so much time into the outfits I chose-thinking about what he would like, what poses I would show off for him and instead we had . . . pizza.
I have learned a lot about myself since that day, but the most important thing is – you do a boudoir shoot FOR YOU. Your partner may happen to be the lucky recipient of beautiful images IF they appreciate it. I photograph women whose partners never even see their images. They don’t even know they have had photoshoots!
As women, we do this to reconnect with our sexuality, our need to feel desirable, our need to feel like the absolute bombshell that we can’t always be (or don’t WANT to be) in everyday life. But every now and then we need to reconnect to the fiery goddess that we know is there. And she is in everyone.
Since that failed boudoir attempt, I managed to bravely pick myself back up. I have been photographed multiple times, and for different reasons. Each time though, I embrace a little bit more of MY feminine power and sexuality. MINE. Each time I figure out a little bit more about what *I* find sexy. And each time I get a little bit stronger. I have explored cosplay boudoir, frolicked in the woods and in the lake naked (I felt like a nymph), played in a bathtub, sprawled out on a wooden floor, and more. And tomorrow, I’m being photographed again. This time, I’m going to explore a burlesque fantasy of mine, and eventually the rooftop (we will see how warm it is).
I know it’s hard when you don’t feel seen or appreciated by your partner. I feel your pain-I have been there and I remember. And boudoir isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some of them would prefer pizza. But it is okay to want this for yourself – to want to feel sexy and glamorous, and to DO it for yourself too-multiple times even. <3
Here is a shot from my last session-more to come from tomorrow’s shoot.
Today is National Coming out day for 2019, and I stand proudly with those who have already come out, for those who chose today to celebrate their authenticity, and for those who don’t feel safe or aren’t ready yet. Love is Love.
I choose Miss H for the project because her story resonates with so many of us-the ladies of the lost an found club. We get lost somewhere in a marriage that isn’t right for us, and find ourselves in a place of glorious rediscovery. A boudoir shoot is definitely a rite of passage for the newly divorced – so freeing, reaffirming, confidence building, and exciting. Not to mention celebratory. Here is what she had to say about participating in the project:
“I believe in Studio M’s mission- that all women and all people are beautiful and important in their own ways, no matter what! I stumbled upon the Babes Group at such an important time for me and it was exactly what I needed.
The past couple years have been evolutionary for me. Last year I got out of a bad situation and got divorced and now am growing to be the happiest person I know, for my son and I. I’ve lost 40 pounds so far and am feeling energetic, positive and carefree. And my confidence is shining so bright that other people are noticing. I’m coming to realize that it’s ok for me to be happy for myself- and I know this “new Me” would shine brightly as a model for Studio M!”
Shining bright, indeed-that smile is stunning as are all of her images.
This beautiful babe is an absolute inspiration in every single way. I got a text from her a few days before Mother’s Day, asking if I did boudoir parties.
OF COURSE! I love parties! Women hanging out, empowering each other, cheering each other on, it’s always a blast. It’s why I started Galentine’s Day.
It turns out that E was about to undergo a double mastectomy and had to do so in pretty short order.
She wanted to celebrate her pre-surgery body, and she wanted her friends by her side. She called it a “tata to my tatas party.”
My heart.
She said she specifically needed to document her breasts because they were amazing, and wanted to pour a bottle of champagne over them.
WHY have I not thought of this before?
On the day of the shoot, the time came to get the champagne out. We cleared the bed away from the wall, did some “practice” shots before popping the bottle, and had the emergency standby bottles ready. I had to be sure we got these shots right-it was the only thing she specifically requested. And man. They. Are. SPECTACULAR.
THIS is what I mean when I say I want to capture happy, giggly, laughing shots-where you let go completely. You are alive and free, loving everything in the precise moment the picture is taken.
For those that have worked with me, pouring a bottle of champagne over your body works WAY better than exclaiming “PENIS!” to get genuine giggles.
Her hubby was present for her photo reveal and he just beamed. He said it made him so happy to see she had a great time during the shoot.
She might have the most grace of any woman I have ever met. She went through this whole process with a brave smile on her face, brazenly donning her Dita Von Teese lingerie (whom she is a clone for btw if you didn’t notice), and exhibiting absolute joy during her entire shoot.
She patiently waited while I worked on her album design through a super busy month, and is already talking about a follow up shoot after reconstructive surgery.
Hope you are feeling well, E. I can’t wait to photograph you again.
