I get asked this question all the time. You could say that I literally made it my job to help women love their bodies as a result of hating my own so much.
I always struggled with self image, was always just a little too curvy, never had that flat tummy to show off, and after having kids, things got exponentially worse for me.
I had a cervical condition that prevented me from exercising during pregnancy but we’ll be honest and say I wasn’t doing a lot exercise anyway. I had gained 30 pounds since getting married, and gained 35 more while pregnant.
I ended up with an emergency c section that left me with a floppy belly that hung over my scar. That softness, combined with stretch marks and the heartless effect of gravity left me devastated with my appearance.
At the time I hadn’t shot boudoir professionally yet. It was just becoming more popular nationwide, and a photographer friend of mine suggested photographing me to try it out.
I was maybe 3 months postpartum with my second baby, and the photographer used the equivalent of a spotlight in a dark room to light the portraits. That combined with winging the posing . . . . . to say the results were bad is definitely an understatement. I cried for DAYS.
I decided that this couldn’t ever happen to anyone again, and made the decision to start shooting boudoir myself. I didn’t want any woman to ever hate herself the way I did, and set out to create a space where all bodies could be seen for the beauty they are, and could be celebrated and loved. This is why I specialize in shooting boudoir for women of all shapes and sizes.
A lot of other happy things came out of that day-I joined a gym, started getting serious about my health, and got the confidence I needed to leave my unhappy marriage. During that journey I decided to just.be.happy. To stop fighting it and love my body and commit to loving it going forward.
It was so FREEING.
CHOOSING happiness in my body and letting go of all that angst was a ridiculous weight off my shoulders. To embrace the concept that you can love yourself while also trying to improve your heath – why these concepts are often mutually exclusive, I don’t know.
All of this said, there are still days I struggle. Days I look at my softness and stretch marks and think how I’ll never have flawless skin or an eight pack (I need my chocolate). But it doesn’t take long for me to snap out of it and refocus on the gloriousness of self love.
What is YOUR biggest struggle with loving yourself and what do you do to try to overcome that challenge?
I would love to hear all of your answers!!!
